What did the apple tree say to the farmer?

Athumani (Guest) on March 2, 2017

How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern… 🧛‍♂️✉️

Yusuf (Guest) on February 27, 2017

I need six months of vacation, twice a year. 🏖️😂

Hawa (Guest) on February 16, 2017

I’m on the gin and tonic diet. So far, I’ve lost two days. 🍸😂

Mercy Atieno (Guest) on February 15, 2017

I am on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days. 📅🍔

Henry Sokoine (Guest) on February 12, 2017

Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too many issues with time! 🕰️🛋️

Victor Sokoine (Guest) on January 23, 2017

What’s a pig’s favorite karate move? The pork chop! 🐷🥋

Janet Sumari (Guest) on January 12, 2017

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 📅🙅‍♂️

Jacob Kiplangat (Guest) on January 10, 2017

Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦀💰

Mwalimu (Guest) on January 3, 2017

What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador! 🐕✨

Kiza (Guest) on January 2, 2017

I’m still laughing, that was too good! 🤣

Dorothy Nkya (Guest) on December 19, 2016

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day. ☁️😎

Ruth Wanjiku (Guest) on December 9, 2016

🤣 Sharing this right now!

David Musyoka (Guest) on December 6, 2016

Why don’t vampires like garlic? It’s a pain in the neck! 🧛‍♂️🧄

Kenneth Murithi (Guest) on December 3, 2016

😆 Laughing so hard right now!

Ali (Guest) on November 27, 2016

😂 I’m completely obsessed with this!

Henry Mollel (Guest) on November 18, 2016

I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. ☕❤️

Arifa (Guest) on November 9, 2016

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄💪

Baridi (Guest) on November 6, 2016

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired! 🚴‍♀️😴

George Ndungu (Guest) on October 28, 2016

Why don’t birds use Facebook? They already tweet! 🐦🐤

Raphael Okoth (Guest) on October 27, 2016

You know you’re an adult when you get excited about things like ‘cleaning supplies.’ 🧼🛒

Maneno (Guest) on October 22, 2016

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange! 🧛‍♂️🍊

Monica Nyalandu (Guest) on October 17, 2016

I spend my whole day thinking about food and then I wonder why I’m gaining weight. 🍕😅

Abubakari (Guest) on October 15, 2016

I need to get in shape. If I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle. 🧍‍♀️🔵

Omari (Guest) on October 8, 2016

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳👖

Samson Mahiga (Guest) on October 6, 2016

I think my guardian angel drinks. 😇🍷

Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on October 1, 2016

I wasn’t born to 'just get things done'—I was born to confuse people with my nonsense. 🤯🤪

Mwanaidi (Guest) on September 27, 2016

Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them! 👻😜

Sarah Mbise (Guest) on September 25, 2016

Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they don’t have organs! ⛪🎶

John Mushi (Guest) on September 23, 2016

😃 Mood instantly lifted!

Wilson Ombati (Guest) on September 22, 2016

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it! 💧🔥

Nancy Akumu (Guest) on September 8, 2016

Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll laugh at you. 🤣📞

Majid (Guest) on September 7, 2016

Monday should be optional. 😴⏳

Khadija (Guest) on September 2, 2016

😂 I can't stop laughing at this one!

Anna Mahiga (Guest) on August 27, 2016

You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you do for fun. 🎮🤔

Francis Mrope (Guest) on August 26, 2016

When I said I’d do it later, I didn’t mean tomorrow. I meant next year. 📅😆

Tabu (Guest) on August 25, 2016

Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks! 🐔🥁

Esther Nyambura (Guest) on August 22, 2016

🤣 That twist at the end, though!

Wilson Ombati (Guest) on August 11, 2016

I hate when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong. 🎤🤷‍♀️

Alice Wanjiru (Guest) on July 22, 2016

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. 💑🤣

Monica Lissu (Guest) on July 20, 2016

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time. 🎧🤔

Grace Majaliwa (Guest) on July 15, 2016

I don’t have a bucket list, but my fucket list is a mile long. 🤷‍♂️😂

Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on July 9, 2016

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. 🚪😆

Betty Cheruiyot (Guest) on July 8, 2016

I’m not overweight. I’m just under-tall. 🏋️‍♂️🤏

Mchuma (Guest) on July 3, 2016

😂 Can’t wait to share this!

Rahim (Guest) on June 26, 2016

I’ve started using my kids as weights. That counts as working out, right? 🏋️‍♂️👶

Mwachumu (Guest) on June 20, 2016

I have a love-hate relationship with Mondays. I love to hate them. 😡📅

Mwakisu (Guest) on June 19, 2016

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go! 🎈❄️

Betty Cheruiyot (Guest) on June 17, 2016

I would lose weight, but I hate losing. 😂🏆

Zakia (Guest) on June 8, 2016

What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead! 🎩🏃‍♂️

Margaret Anyango (Guest) on May 31, 2016

Some people wake up looking fabulous. I wake up looking for my phone. 📱😴

Brian Karanja (Guest) on May 27, 2016

Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies? ✂️🧵

Grace Minja (Guest) on May 16, 2016

What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen! 🚗🥚

Janet Mwikali (Guest) on May 7, 2016

Why don’t sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny! 🦈🤡

Chris Okello (Guest) on May 2, 2016

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza. 🍕🤷‍♂️

Mohamed (Guest) on April 29, 2016

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools! 🐠🏫

Amina (Guest) on April 28, 2016

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right. 🤷‍♂️😎

Amir (Guest) on April 25, 2016

😄 Too good!

Maida (Guest) on April 23, 2016

Absolutely nailed it, what a joke! 😄

Fatuma (Guest) on April 23, 2016

Why was the math teacher always so suspicious? She knew something didn’t add up! ➕🤨

Mwalimu (Guest) on April 8, 2016

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊🕵️‍♂️